Darkest before Dawn

04:30 HST

The peaceful calm is intense before sunrise; the stars and their soft cloud co-stars putting together a majestic show across the dark warm Hawaii sky; the gentle ocean breezes performing a silent symphony as their accompaniment. Dad’s resting in the living room of his home in Kailua, Oahu; he seems to be sleeping peacefully. Around him in various configurations and stages of rest lie three of his granddaughters, his two dogs, and his ever-vigilant wife.

For these overnight hours, I’ve enjoyed the cool, soft breezes on the sofa out on the back patio; catching a few winks at a time while staying within earshot and a sliding screen door away should anything noteworthy occur. Conditions are perfect out here, no blanket needed. Even the mosquitoes have taken leave, almost in respect of the tentative nature of the moments passing through.

Earlier in the evening, I had the most significant conversation with Dad I’ve had as an adult; it may have been only 10 minutes; he may have spoken only 10 words between shallow breaths – three of those words “Keep the faith” with as much energy as he could muster. The words “no regrets” are finding their proper seating in a heart that is just recently attuned to the relationship between thinking and feeling.

While no vacationer would ever consider my last 16 days to have been a pleasure trip, I see in them many more gains than losses. 36 hours from scheduled departure, with full paternal release to return, I am faced with the delicate juxtaposition of all that surrounds the closing pages of one life’s book, overly shortened yet full of quality pages (his); and a full life that is just beginning to outline the chapters of significance and contribution in another (mine).

In these early morning hours he sleeps. He has made it to another day and in another hour or two may enjoy another sunrise. The hours and days beyond that are not by any means sure. The one thing we know, he and I, is that in a few short years we have given each one something to be proud of the other for – me of him and all of his achievements as my dad and in business, and he of what he knows of my life, relationships and business to date. We have spoken these words to each other. When I leave here, it will not be without having known my dad and without him knowing me…

The sky is beginning to light. The new day is upon us…

05:30 HST